We’ve been seeing each other a lot lately. We lost touch after we broke up nearly 10 years ago and it was safer that way.
We have a deep emotional connection that your wife can’t shake. I know you married her in the hopes that you would forget about me. You told me shortly after we reconnected that you’d married her in the hopes that you would no longer feel compelled to cheat on her. I’m sorry that I allowed you to bring me back into your life.
Marriage is a ball and chain – not a detention centre. The only thing holding you back is your conscience and it’s non-existent in my presence. You tell me everything. I know you are in love with me, as “I love you” are the only three words that you’re terrified to let slip. I watch you struggle to avoid them, stumbling over your words, extended pauses, painful stutters. A man of so many words, left speechless. Everyone sees it. Your guard is down and you’re falling hard. The confident charmer, absolutely gushing. I’m scared for you and as much as I want this, I don’t want to ruin your marriage.
I wish you weren’t married.
I know at some point we will need to end this affair. I’m not hurt, but I fear losing our friendship. You are one of my best friends and I will love you always. I’m sorry you fucked up by getting married so young, but she is wonderful for loving you the way she does. She is not exceptionally smart, or fun, or the social, or sexual, but you will be with her forever.
And I will forever be the one that got away.